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/Film asks a perfectly valid question, and that is, what the hell is Arianna Huffington going on about on her Twitter feed today? In a mysterious and bizarre tweet last night, the HuffPo proprietress and Hellenic opinion-haver announced she was on her way to “chicago to take part in the Wachowskis’ movie on iraq from the perspective of the future.” Some hours later, there she was, true to her word, asking, “Do u want to know what I’ll look like in 90 years?” Sure, Arianna! We’ll bite! For those of you who guessed, “Like expensive jewelry buried deeply in a mound of nutrient-rich soil,” you’re wrong. Turns out the Arianna of 2100 looks a lot like Ivana Trump on her fourth wedding day!

One major mystery solved — but that leaves another dangling, and that is … what Wachowskis movie on Iraq from the “perspective of the future?!”

Popularity: 11% [?]

Jose here with the Monday Monologue.

Swinton enters the scene in a conspicuous outfit made out of a trench coat, a hat and dark glasses. She looks around everywhere before she sits with the hitman. She seems to read through him and makes up in her mind as to what kind of man he is. “Are you interested in films by any chance?” she asks.

She doesn’t wait for an answer before she continues

I like really old films. You can really see what the world looked like; thirty, fifty, a hundred years ago. You know the clothes, the telephones, the trains, the way people smoke cigarettes, the little details of life.

Jarmusch fills his movie with cinematic references of every kind and uses Swinton as a conductor who spoils the films he got inspiration from to make this one. She continues and in less than a minute manages to make to references to both Tarkovsky and Marilyn Monroe

The best films are like dreams you’re never sure you’ve really had. I have this image in my head of a room full of sand and a bird flies towards me and dips its wing into the sand. And I honestly have no idea whether this image came from a dream or a film.

Sometimes I like it in films when people just sit there, not saying anything. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend…

Then, in a compelling self conscious move she details her own creation

Have you seen The Lady From Shanghai? Orson Welles.
That one makes no sense. Rita Hayworth is a blond, I think it’s the only film she was ever blond in. It’s like a game: deception, glamor, a shootout with shattered mirrors.

She dies in the end.

It’s obvious that Tilda’s character more than the others is extracted out of pulpy, smokey film noir. When she tells of her fascination with Hayworth, she’s describing herself. From the fact that Jarmusch gave Tilda a very blond wig, to her mysterious attitude, she’s the lovechild of Raymond Chandler and David Lynch.

After this random monologue she leaves the table and we don’t see her again until this…

The hitman walks down a street and notices a movie poster with a character that looks just like Swinton’s. The title of the film being advertised is Un Lugar Solitario which translated into English almost reads In a Lonely Place. The hitman notices something is going on just feet away from there. This very woman is being abducted by a group of men who throw her into a car.

Then and there it becomes clear to him that she was never real, she came from that world of intrigue and dreams in the black and white that she loved so much. Even if we too know this, we still can’t help but wish the whole movie had been about her.
*

Popularity: unranked [?]

The Uninvited
2009, 87mins, PG-13
Director (s): The Brothers Guard
Writer (s): Doug Miro, Craig Rosenberg, Carlo Bernard
Cast includes: Emily Browning, Arielle Kebbell, Elizabeth Banks, David Strathairn, Maya Massar
Release Date: 30th January 2009

For the longest portion of its neat 87 minutes “The Uninvited” is an enjoyable film. The problem is that when the finishing act comes around it represents a mystifyingly frustrating misstep, whoever thought the twist added onto this one was a good idea has to have their artistic credibility called into question. I realize the film is a remake of the Asian property “A Tale of Two Sisters” yet either that movie suffers the same implausible denouement or deploys it in a more opportunistic and effective manner. Either way this Americanized retooling plays solidly for about an hour then blows much of its respectability due to an unsatisfying finish. As a result it goes from being certifiably good to being little better than average.

“The Uninvited” has been pitched to audiences as a ghost story, though in truth the supernatural only play a small part. It rattles along much more in the vein of a thriller or teenage conspiracy flick and whilst the summation of proceedings reverts back to spirits and ghouls the majority of the movie flows more realistically. Anna (Emily Browning) has just been released from the mental institution in which she has resided since the death of her mother, killed in a suspicious inferno that consumed part of her house in peculiar circumstances. Her sister Alex (Arielle Kebbel) and Father (David Strathairn) are initially pleased to see her, though for Anna at least they carry some bad news. Her Mother’s nurse and fathers new girlfriend Rachel (Elizabeth Banks) has moved in. Rachel is initially welcoming but her mood starts to change when Anna begins to suspect she may be culpable for her Mother’s death, haunting visions and ghostly appearances of past victims leading to the assertion. Her Father isn’t impressed with what he sees as insane rambling yet Alex is easier swayed, and together the two sisters attempt to expose the newest addition to the family.

For a horror movie rated PG-13 “The Uninvited” is surprisingly chilling and exciting in places. It’s also worth acknowledging that whilst I haven’t seen the original it strikes me as superior to most remakes. So for directorial duo Thomas and Charles Guard it’s far from a bad way to start their Hollywood careers and between them I do see potential. “The Uninvited” is a polished and moody movie with several genuinely suspenseful moments; from a visual perspective at least it’s a definite triumph. The Brothers Guard (as they prefer to be credited) certainly shows a command of cinematography and a flourish for atmospheric shot construction; aesthetically it’s consistently interesting and aids the story rather than overwhelms it. The musical score from Christopher Young is another thing that really stands out in aiding “The Uninvited” in its quest for thrills. Young has complied musical accompaniment that evokes an eerie sense of dread and uncertainty, it’s not a groundbreaking orchestral effort, though it’s solid and recognition worthy in the confines of such a modest motion picture.

The performances are decidedly mixed though the characterization is involving, certainly more defined and unique than the horror genre tends to offer. Browning and Kebbel never quite convince as the vengeful sisters, though in fairness specific facets of their acting do work. Browning in particular is commended for trying to bring what seems like an ethereal edge to her character and isn’t unsympathetic even if at times she relies overly on a puppy dog sense of disbelief. Kebbel just seems wooden for large sections of the movie though she rarely appears in anything more than a swimsuit which goes someway to compensating for her lack of energy or enthusiasm. Strathairn is overqualified for such an undemanding part though he carries it off well and Elizabeth Banks is excellent as the menacingly sweet Rachel. Banks has in the last few years shoehorned her way into the A list comedy scene, though “The Uninvited” shows that she has aspirations beyond that as an actress. I would probably go as far to say that along with the photography Banks is the movies greatest asset, charming and intimidating in equal measure.

The finish is where it all goes pear shaped, up until that point “The Uninvited” registers as a quietly efficient and entertaining attempt at mainstream horror. However not only does the picture insist on offering an incredibly lazy and unsubtle explanation it’s also a finale that invites narrative criticisms and shapes plot holes. The Guard brothers attempt to defend these inconsistencies through a quick replay of a few key scenes with the final twist in mind, and whilst their selected examples may make sense there are plenty of other moments that don’t. If taken purely as an experience “The Uninvited” works far more often than it does not, but when viewing it in retrospect as a story or tight narrative things struggle to hold up. It’s a disappointing end to what is otherwise a reasonably diverting film; the writers really would have been better going for a conventional serial killer style conclusion than the absolute cluster-fuck that appears on the screen.

I want to give “The Uninvited” a hearty recommendation, but in the light of its troubled ending that’s hard to do. The film is much better than most PG-13 drivel and actually manages to be scary from time to time but that doesn’t solve the other grander artistic issues. The Guard brothers look like they might be decent filmmakers and on the basis of this I’m more than willing to give them another chance but “The Uninvited” certainly could use improvement in a few vital areas.

C+

A review by Daniel Kelly, 2009

Popularity: unranked [?]

1. The Blind Side, $20.4 million

2. The Twilight Saga: New Moon, $15.7 million

3. Brothers, $9.7 million

4. Disney’s A Christmas Carol, $7.5 million

5. Old Dogs, $6.9 million

6. Armored, $6.6 million (tie)

6. 2012, $6.6 million (tie)

8. Ninja Assassin, $5 million

9. Planet 51, $4.3 million

10. Everybody’s Not Fine, $4 million

RYAN: Seriously?

CAROLINE: Really?

RYAN: “The Blind Side” at number one? This is a hoax!

CAROLINE: It’s turned out to be the little movie that could. It must be word of mouth.

RYAN: Sandra Bullock is doing a major happy dance right about now.

CAROLINE: So is that big guy on the poster.

RYAN: If you just look at the poster, the movie could have been titled, “The Tiny Blonde Woman.”

CAROLINE: [laughs] I can’t believe it did better than “New Moon.”

RYAN: I know! It’s bananas. But LBH, “New Moon” has made all the money it’s really needed to make already. All the Twihards will buy the DVD when its out anyway.

CAROLINE: “Brothers” didn’t do that great but it’s a limited audience even though the stars are popular.

RYAN: “Everybody’s Fine” debuted to an awful weekend.

CAROLINE: I guess no one’s in the mood for it right now.

Cheeky & Fresh Movie Reviews

Popularity: unranked [?]

Who among you are aware that there is a movie now showing in our theaters, entitled “Two Lovers”? Probably only a few know since it was not marketed well in the Philippines nor was it even a movie that was widely released last year in the United States. Actually, it is only showing in a very few Ayala Cinemas here in the Metro. Some things just do not need to have a loud buzz to intrigue people. “Two Lovers” has been garnering excellent reviews all around the internet. We feel that “Two Lovers” is like your best kept hideaway – only a close circle of friends know but it truly is a magical place to be in. Sadly, this is also Joaquin Phoenix’s last film. Can he make a befitting end to a very solid career? Find out our take of the movie after the jump.

The movie starts with Leonard Kraditor (Joaquin Phoenix) trying to end his life by jumping off the bridge. We soon find out that he has a bi-polar disorder, living with his parents and trying to get over a failed relationship. He soon meets Sandra (Vinessa Shaw), a daughter of a family friend who is attracted to Leonard ever since she saw him in Leonard’s family business – a laundry store. She is everything he could ever want and need: stable, good hearted, beautiful and understanding. However, he meets his new neighbor Michelle (Gwyneth Paltrow). Michelle is a troubled girl, in-love with a married man and uses drugs every now and then. For some reason, he finds himself crazy about the troubled and needy girl. Who will he pick? Who will he end up with?

“Two Lovers” will affect you deeply for sure. It is an honest depiction of what real-life love is – there are no fairy tale stories here as this is a serious look into one’s struggle in finding true love. The whole time, the mood of the film will be dark and somber – completely different than the usual fare of romantic movies. Come to think of it, this might be just as effective as “500 Days of Summer”, only doing everything else in opposite. Props to Joaquin Phoenix for his superb acting. He depicted his character so well – definitely a fitting end to his career and something inside of us just hopes that this won’t be his last. Some may find the film a bit on the slow side and this might affect their experience of the movie. You will find a twist towards the end that will leave you surprised and at the same time, satisfied. Hope you’ll get the chance to see this movie as this is definitely a must-watch.

Rating: 4.5 reels

Why you should watch it:
- very honest depiction of complicated love stories happening in real life
- superb acting from actors, most especially Joaquin Phoenix

Why you shouldn’t watch it:
- may appear to slow for someone who is looking for action

Popularity: unranked [?]