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The busier you get, the more stuff you forget, and navigating that mental clutter can be worse than steering through an asteroid field. Luckily, lots of intrepid galactic heroes have faced faulty memories, and created some handy techniques for remembering.

Here’s a complete list of all the methods we found for jogging your memory from science fiction tales, from the least fantastical to the most. (The end of the list, sadly, includes some items that you’re unlikely to be able to find at your local office supply store.)

Use an acronym.

Suppose you’ve got a beautiful blue time machine that goes by the ungainly name of Time And Relative Dimensions In Space — you can always shorten it down to TARDIS, which is much easier to remember. That’s what the Doctor (and his granddaughter Susan) did in Doctor Who.

The same goes for Marvel Comics’ super-secret spy organization, the Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division (S.H.I.E.L.D.) The only problem with acronyms is, people will change what they stand for when you’re not looking — S.H.I.E.L.D. now stands for Strategic Hazard Intervention, Espionage Logistics Directorate in the comics, or Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division in the movies.

There’s also the General Unilateral Neuro-link Dispersive Autonomic Maneuver (GUNDAM), and lots of other examples, here.

Write yourself a post-it note.

This may be the most foolproof method out there. In Star Trek: Voyager, Chakotay falls in love with a member of a species that erases itself from your memory after a while — and also somehow deletes all computer records. To guard his memories of their torrid, torrid love affair, Chakotay writes himself a paper note explaining everything that went on.

Similarly, in Scott Westerfeld’s novel Uglies, Tally Youngblood undergoes the surgery to become a Pretty — but first she writes herself a note explaining all the plans she made to reverse the surgery. Because she won’t remember them after she’s become a Pretty.

In the movie Push, Nick gets someone to erase his memories and the memories of all his friends, so the mind-readers can’t follow their plans. But he writes letters for himself and everybody else, to help them remember at the crucial moment — and there are instructions on how long to wait before reopening the letters.

And this technique is also used by Gwen Cooper in Torchwood (with so-so results), Noah Bennet on Heroes and Kurt on Odyssey Five. There’s a great list over at TVTropes.

Keep a diary:

This is one step further than just writing a little note to yourself. In Gene Wolfe’s novels Soldier in the Mist/Soldier of Arete, the protagonist loses his memory every single day. And he doesn’t realize that his ability to converse with gods, ghosts and other mythic figures is unusual. He writes himself a detailed diary, and the first line of it is, “READ THIS EACH MORNING.”

Lost’s Daniel Faraday keeps a diary too, and seems to use it to remind himself of a lot of stuff he’s forgotten as a result of some time-travel experiments that went wrong. Among other things, he doesn’t remember writing the stuff about Desmond Hume being his constant.

Make up a song:

That’s what Draycos does in Timothy Zahn’s novel Dragon And Thief: A Dragonback Adventure. Draycos sees Jack being taken away on a spaceship, and needs to remember the words written on the ship’s side — but they’re in English, a language Draycos doesn’t know. Says Draycos, “Alien symbols are difficult for one unfamiliar with them to memorize. But I am a poet-warrior of the K’da, and so as you were taken aboard the ship, I composed a song.” For example, to describe the letter A, his lyric goes, “Two soldiers lean to, with joined hands.” Or to describe the letter O, he sings, “Squeezed ring of fire, and what is more/A fire burns within its core.” If you have an easier time remembering goofy song lyrics than unfamiliar symbols, this could work for you.

Leave yourself some objects to trigger a memory:

In Paycheck, Ben Affleck sees his own future, but then has his memory erased. So he leaves himself an envelope full of tiny objects, including a nail and an old penny, and a lottery ticket. They mean nothing to him — until he realizes that they’re each incredibly useful at just the right moment. And they do help jog his memory, sort of. The Doctor on Doctor Who is constantly tying a knot in his hanky to remind him of things — but then he has to leave another knot in his hanky to help him remember why he made the previous knot.

Make yourself a video:

That’s what Arnold Schwarzenegger does in Total Recall — he’s forgotten his true identity as an agent of Mars intelligence (or maybe there was never anything to forget?) And now he leaves himself a video to explain everything — except maybe his past sellf isn’t quite telling the exact truth.

Rodney McKay also leaves himself a video message in Stargate Atlantis after everybody loses their memories in the episode “Tabula Rasa.” He tells himself to find Teyla quickly, or hundreds of people are going to die.

Create a memory key or “memory palace”:

This one is a bit more involved. In John Crowley’s modern fantasy novels, the Aegypt tetralogy, we meet the real-life philosopher Giordano Bruno, who had created a complex occult memory system, based on assigning graphical images to different pieces of information, allowing you to access them easily later. One such scheme involved concentric circles, and could allow you to set aside tons and tons of information. The Aegypt novels include the adventures of Bruno, who becomes the librarian of the Secret Library of San Domenico, keeping track of the huge collection of heretical texts using his amazing memory powers:

He knew and remembered every book, where it lay in Fra’ Benedetto’s cases, who had asked for it, and what was in it. In his vast and growing memory palace, the whole heavens in small, all that took up next to no room at all.

Also, in Orson Scott Card’s Intergalactic Medicine Show, Tzu creates a “toy cupboard” in his mind, among other techniques for creating an order for random facts:

He learned to memorize longer and longer lists of things by putting them inside a toy cupboard the tutor told him to create in his mind, or by mentally stacking them on top of each other, or putting them inside each other. This was fun for a while, though pretty soon he got sick of having all kinds of meaningless lists memorized. It wasn’t funny after a while to have the ball come out of the fish which came out of the tree which came out of the car which came out of the briefcase, but he couldn’t get it out of his memory.

The Mentats, or human computers, in Frank Herbert’s Dune seem to use a variety of techniques, including memory keys (and sapho juice) to remember tons of information with perfect clarity. There’s a Yahoo group where would-be Mentats have posted advice on how to train your mind to be as clear as that of a Mentat — or a Vulcan.

Tattoo yourself:

It works for the guy in Memento.

Take smart drugs:

It’s pretty amazing what you can do with smart drugs, but in Woody Allen’s story “Think Hard, It’ll Come Back To You,” a smart drug called Cranial Pops can help you recall any weird bit of information that may have gotten away from anyone, allowing you to be the hit of a party — until they wear off and you crash.

Use hypnosis:

Lots of science-fiction heroes use hypnosis as a memory aid. In Robert Heinlein’s Citizen Of The Galaxy, Baslim hypnotizes his foster son Thorby, so he can memorize a coded message to the Space Police, as well as a letter to a space captain to help Thorby get off the planet. When Claire forgets her assault by Ethan on Lost, the castaways use hypnosis to help her remember, and Fox Mulder on X-Files uses hypnosis to remember his sister’s abduction by aliens.

More complex spins on the idea of jogging your memory using hypnosis include the hypnotic trigger that sets off River Tam and activates her killing-machine programming in Serenity:

And the images that make Chuck Bartowski suddenly recall bits of spy information stuck in his brain, in Chuck:

Wear video goggles or use image-recognition capability:

In David Brin’s Earth, people wear True-Vu lenses that record everything they see, so they can recall stuff later. And in Amitav Ghosh’s novel The Calcutta Chromosome, an object recognition computer can wring out all the details about objects you’ve seen. Science-fiction author Charles Stross suggests soon it’ll be cheap and easy to store visual data on everything you’ve seen all day for a year, raising all sorts of questions about the boundaries between private memory and public records. Already, researchers have developed smart video goggles that will track what you see.

More way out solutions:

You could get a storage system in your head containing all the information you need to safeguard, as in Johnny Mnemonic by William Gibson (and the movie of the same name.) You could burn your own initials into your brain to remind you that you erased your own memory, like Zaphod Beeblebrox in The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. You could use Wonder Woman’s magic lasso to restore your memories, if you know where to track her down. You could transfer your memories into someone else, like Data in Star Trek: Nemesis or Spock in Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan. You could record your memories, like the people in Strange Days, or the dolls in Dollhouse. You could use a de-neuralizer to restore your memory, like Agent J in Men In Black II.

Top image: Citizen Of The Galaxy by Phil Golyshko. Additional reporting by Josh C. Snyder and Cyriaque Lamar.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Remember last week’s Irish-jug-dancing Stargate Universe folly? That’s all in the past now. This weekend’s Stargate is back on top form. Sure it still had flaws, but the last episode changed everything — literally. Spoilers below.

This episode was the much-dreaded murder mystery SGU. When we first heard that there would be a moider aboard the good ship Destiny, followed by an investigation, the news was met with a general gnashing of teeth and fist shaking. And as much as the “murder” was a silly gimmick, the event itself forced out the plot that we’d all been waiting for, the Rush-and-Young showdown. It’s about damn time.

The episode starts with a light-hearted bit, Greer’s, “you say potato, I say disgusting,” taste-test of the new alien food they picked up from a random planet. It made me chuckle and reminisce about a time when Stargate often featured silly little jokes being played on random crew members. It was a nice return to the comedy we know, even if the punchline was predictable.

But there’s no time for laughs murder is afoot — Angry Bald Guy has been found dead, thanks to a bullet to the head. Suicide, everyone cries — but wait, where’s the gun?

Young gathers everyone into Destiny’s parlor room and exclaims, “there’s been a murder, we’re all suspects, nobody is leaving this mansion until we figure out who done it.” Eli yells out, “twas Miss Scarlet, in the mist shower, with the lead pipe!” So they all gather up in the Gate room and Young does the most logical thing: identifies the only people with alibis and puts them in charge of searching everyone’s quarters. There’s push-back, naturally because — well, they are aboard an alien ship that is running out of food and water and frankly bullet to the brain usually means suicide, missing gun or not. And for the first time in my long history of hating Rush, I was on his side when he decided that this is silly and, “We have work to do.” But like I said it pays off, and the “means justify the end.”

But besides the final payoff, the murder mystery episode also satisfied two of my SGU needs: killing off Angry Bald Guy and revealing what his pill addiction was. I’m happy that Bald is gone, as his rage was exceedingly one-dimensional, but I’m pissed as hell that his addiction was to SLEEPING PILLS… but more on that matter later.

While the new Destiny detectives rummage through the ship looking for the missing weapon, the investigation comes to a hold in Young’s room. Whattayaknow the moider weapon is discovered in the air vents in Young’s quarters. Clearly he’s innocent because we all know hiding a weapon in the air vents is the first place people would look. We’ve seen No Country For Old Men. The plot thickens.

This damning new evidence makes everyone a little cray-cray, especially Camille Wray, who can smell her big leadership opportunity just moments away. Being the noble old man that Young is, he steps down, giving his power to Wray, fulfilling yet another personal plot desire we’ve had for some time.

Quick like a bunny, Wray gathers up some crew members and begins prosecuting Young. The Senator’s daughter serves as Young’s “defense counsel,” because she went to Harvard or something…sigh. Meanwhile sneaky old Rush slithers up to the new boss, Wray, and congratulates her on her new-found power. He asks only that his new found confidence in her be rewarded by granting him complete control over his science team. And now it’s all starting to make sense. Rush has never really had full power over the science team, because Young always kept him in check. Wray has no idea what this request ultimately means, as she shouldn’t, because her character has never really been a power player in this series. And now we see her peripheral status up till now bearing fruit. Is it a weak excuse for keeping this interesting character barren of development? Yes. But it works here. The evidence is mounting.

Within moments, Rush has his science team assembled at the great mind chair, and all but tells these starving, sad, homesick scientists that this is the key to getting them all home. Thus enacting his master plan. He’s too chicken to risk his great brain by sitting in the chair, but he has no qualms with sacrificing the minds of others. By dangling this steak in front of the starving masses, he’s guaranteeing that one of them will plop down and take the risk, and that’s just what they do.

This is when the shit hits the fan, and it’s fantastic. It’s what we’ve all been expecting and waiting for. Granted, this all could have happened many episodes earlier, but at least it’s happening now. Franklyn is in a coma, because he sat the big sit in the Ancient mind-chair, the kino tapes conveniently pop up revealing the actual murderer — no one — and Destiny finds a new planet to visit. Wray watches as her new found power crumbles around her, thanks to Rush’s manipulation, and she retires, giving Young back his authority. But like a kid in a candy store not even Rush can stop himself from getting off the ship to see the new alien world. Even though the ship is suffering a veritable governing break down, Rush gallops off to explore the new planet with a pissed-off Young behind him.

After dismissing the away team Young confronts Rush, alone on the desert planet. And all hell breaks lose. Young bashes in the face of the madman, knocking him out cold after a few swings, and leaves his scrawny trouble maker behind. Ha ha, take that meddling wild card with the Nick Burns the IT Guy attitude towards helping the Destiny survivors.

Young crosses the Gate and tells the crew that Rush was stuck under an rock slide and they didn’t have enough time to get back. Rush is now alone with nothing but a old alien spaceship to keep him company. And the crowd goes wild. Finally, the action, the drama, the grit and the ugly world we were promised. I never really cared about Young’s sex life switcheroo with the Earth-bound wife, these are the people I wanted him to punch in the face and leave for dead on some remote planet, because I’m invested in these characters. It was a brilliant twist, and I can’t wait to see how these two get out of this dilemma. Cause, come on — Rush isn’t going anywhere just yet, and Young is never really off the hook.

All in all, it was a fantastic episode that used the murder-mystery gimmick to its advantage, so much so that halfway through it was no longer a murder mystery, so much as a showdown between two great big characters. So in a way this was the first real pairing of Stargate humor and gimmicks with actual gritty drama, and it worked like a charm. Sure, I still feel like the women were yet again pushed to the sidelines. Especially since Wray only had power for a hot moment, and T.J. hardly spoke — but it was nice to watch the Senator’s Daughter and Wray go head to head, again, if only for a short while. Let’s hope there’s more of that to come in the future.

My biggest problem was the reveal of Angry Bald Guy’s medication to be sleeping pills. A marine loses his mind over sleeping pills? I was expecting much more from the from all the previous foreshadowing in past episodes. Perhaps he had some illness he was keeping in check — or maybe it was an addiction to something that will really mess you up. But if you’re selling me suicide based on a lack of sleeping medication, well… that’s a hard pill to swallow. Thankfully Baldy does get to utter one of the most profound sentences uttered in SGU. Which, honestly reveals his true motives: “these people don’t even realize, they’re in a big floating coffin.” In hindsight they should have just let it at that, and left the sleeping pill reveal out entirely.

But they are small issues with an over all amazing episode that restored my faith in this series and solidified my early sense that Young is the best character out of the bunch.

Popularity: unranked [?]

With last night’s double-header, Dollhouse swung firmly back towards “best thing Joss Whedon’s ever done” territory. There was only one slight problem… the weak subplot involving Summer Glau. Mega spoilers below!

So I totally did not see the revelation concerning Senator Daniel Perrin coming — that he’s the doll and his wife is his handler. It was one of the coolest plot twists I’d seen in ages, and yet it totally made sense once the show explained it.

It goes like this: the evil Rossum Corporation has tons of power and influence, but the bastards in charge wanted more. They wanted their own puppet as a U.S. Senator (and maybe, eventually, as president.) So they kidnapped Daniel Perrin, the scion of a powerful political dynasty (think of him as Fred Kennedy or something.) And they took the dissolute party boy and reprogrammed him to be a fiery crusader for justice, with tons of political ambition. Daniel Perrin 2.0 quickly became a senator. And then they decided their lucrative, illegal Dollhouse operation was getting too much attention, so they decided to have their puppet Senator investigate these rumors — only to disprove them and exonerate Rossum completely.

Of course, poor old Madeline aka November would have to be the sacrificial lamb, stepping forward as a former doll only to be revealed as a crazy woman and then destroyed. But you can’t achieve total political power without crushing a few people along the way.

Alexis Denisof did a fantastic job of bringing Senator Perrin to life, and the Dollhouse writers managed to find yet another fascinating twist on the idea of people’s identities being erased and rebuilt: Here was someone the Dollhouse had made better. They’d taken a worthless shell of a human being and turned him into a good guy — except, of course, for the part where he danced to their tune. An extra layer of weirdness comes from the fact that they didn’t just build a fictitious persona for him — they layered on a new personality on top of his old one, so that when he realizes he’s been reprogrammed, he has a hard time separating his real life from his fake one. His fake marriage to a woman who loathes him is a new level of creepy from a show that seemed to have emptied its creepy-bag already.

The other big twist, of course, is at the end, when Perrin has killed his wife under the control of Bennett Halverson (Glau). And he starts to think that maybe it wouldn’t be quite so bad to let the Dollhouse erase his memory of what happened, so he can go back to thinking of himself as a fine, upstanding senator. Who cares if it’s a lie, or if the real murderers will get away with it? It’s the easy way. And then Echo points out that Perrin didn’t kill his wife, Rossum did. But if Perrin lets Rossum erase his brain again, then Perrin really did kill his wife. When you put it like that, there’s no choice, right? Perrin has to do the right thing and hang on to his real memories.

Except he doesn’t. The next time we see him, we think he’s about to step up and expose Rossum, but then we realize that he’s taken the devil’s bargain. He’s chosen to let Rossum wipe his mind one more time, rather than deal with the reality of his life. (Not unlike Sierra last episode, choosing to remain a doll rather than remember that she killed her tormentor.)

This was such a smart, challenging two hours of television, it’s a crime that it’s not the new 24 or House. Just rewatch the scene where Perrin is trying to explain to Echo that she’s a doll, before he discovers he’s a doll himself — his horror and disgust are so palpable, and then it turns out that he’s the thing he’s been describing all along.

If only this show wasn’t airing on a Friday night. Or if only it actually appealed to the kinds of brain-damaged idiots that this Microsoft ad seems to think are watching:

It’s Dollhouse for dummies! I will refrain from making any snarky comments about Microsoft’s opinion of its own users’ intelligence.

Meanwhile, November is all fired up to do the right thing — and you know it’s not going to turn out well, even before you understand how she’s being set up. She’s still a puppet, even though she’s no longer a doll. And just standing up and telling the truth about the Dollhouse is never going to work, because they can discredit her so easily. Weirdly, it’s the best argument I’ve seen so far in favor of Ballard’s decision to go work for the Dollhouse instead of continuing to work against it — there’s no way to destroy it except from the inside. The scene where Ballard finally gets to talk to November and explains to her his version of events is pretty heartbreaking, but you can easily see why she’s not won over. All she sees is another person trying to control her, and not being nearly as subtle about it as the Senator’s people.

Ballard can’t protect her from her own bad decisions, and when he realizes that, it’s a crucial step towards him being less of a meathead. I actually love Ballard, but it’s about time he got over his “knight in shining armor” fixation — and it’s especially cool to see him starting to cast that off in an episode where the “you’re my knight in shining armor” thing turns out to be a conditioning trigger for a mindwiped slave.

Adelle and Topher continue to be the best double act on television — the limo scene was great — and both of them had some great moments this week. After seeing Adelle acting a bit like a whipped puppy with Mr. Harding lately, it was great to see her regain her backbone and move to protect November. And the ball-grabbing scene with Ray Wise, cartoonish though it was, still totally ruled. Meanwhile, what’s a better double act than Adelle and Topher? Two Tophers! Yet again, Enver Gjokaj proves that he can do pretty much anything, as he creates a spot-on impression of Fran Krantz.

So why did I say that the Summer Glau parts didn’t work for me? Well, the stuff between Bennett and Topher was great — the nerd bonding, the rivalry, the scheming against each other, the flirting. I could have watched it for hours. The bit where Topher decides she’s too pretty to be as smart as she is was a tad annoying, but also utterly believable. And I loved it when she’s flattered that he tried to tase her. That was twisted and sweet and totally awesome.

But the rest of Glau’s performance, for whatever reason, just did not work. I think it was the writing more than Glau’s acting — they were trying to do something arty, and it fell flat. There were too many scenes of Glau soliloquizing and repeating weird phrases over and over, to show that she’s tightly wound and psychotic. And the whole business where she has a vendetta against Echo because Echo’s original personality, Caroline, left her crushed under some rubble just felt a bit contrived. It felt like way too much of a coincidence. And I just could not buy that Bennett would let the Senator and Echo escape, just so she could keep pursuing her vendetta against Echo a bit further. The whole thing felt, frankly, flimsy. And Glau struggled mighty to sell it, but the whole “psycho geek” routine felt a bit too close to a glitchy Cameron from Sarah Connor Chronicles. “Will you please make sure? Will you please make sure? WILL YOU PLEASE MAKE SURE?”

I think it was the fact that this is supposed to be such a huge operation for Rossum, and yet Bennett bungled it so hugely — first by torturing Echo when she was supposed to be mindwiping the Senator, then by letting the Senator escape, and finally by turning the Senator into a psycho-killer — seemed just a tad much. And I just couldn’t buy into the “I got hurt in an accident and you ran away, so I’m obsessed with destroying your mindless shell even though you don’t remember me” thing. It felt a bit forced.

Glau was a joy to watch whenever she had scenes opposite Fran Kranz. But the rest of the time, her scenes dragged the story to a halt. But I’m sure your mileage may well vary, and feel free to let me know in the comments!

But generally this was another fantastic outing — bringing the show up to four brilliant episodes in a row. There are so many ideas embedded in this story about what makes us who we are, and how much we’re slaves to our programming — even the Bennett storyline, which fell flat for me, had an interesting spin on how she’s a slave to her compulsion for revenge. It was depressing to see so many ads for Human Target, a show based on a comic book that explored similar ideas of identity and selfhood during its most recent Vertigo Comics incarnation but which is tossing all of those ideas away in favor of a dumb bodyguard storyline. Dollhouse is the show that fans of Peter Milligan’s Human Target comics actually deserve.

Wee tidbits: We’ve had several hints lately that there was another Sierra before the current one, and that Adelle got a bit too attached to her, and it ended badly. I wonder what are the chances we’ll find out what that’s about before the show runs out of episodes?

Also, yet again we get another person telling us how special Echo is — this time, it’s Bennett, saying that Echo has this magical ability to make people love her (or something.) I’m beginning to think she’s turning into RTD’s version of the Doctor, and we’re going to have people saying that Echo is fire and ice and dragons and a lonely god and the reason the Earth doesn’t turn backwards. Still, I’m willing to let it pass, since Echo being special turns out to be important in the post-apocalyptic world we’re heading towards.

Also, more hints that Caroline wasn’t a particularly nice person… and suddenly, Echo doesn’t want to go back to being Caroline. After insisting in “Omega” and this year’s season opener that she’s just waiting for Caroline to come home, she’s now gone over to Whiskey’s point of view — if Caroline returns to Echo’s body, then Echo is killed. So she’d rather remain Echo, and let Caroline rot in a wedge? It’ll be interesting to see if that becomes an issue soon.

I love that the DC Dollhouse’s Actives are named after Greek gods, like Hades and Aphrodite.

Great lines:

“This is the same tech that turned Echo into a serial killer.” “We said we wouldn’t dwell on that. He’s dwelling.”

“You just woke up a lot of people — and they all think you’re a bitch!”

“How about the Senator beats his wife?” “The Senator doesn’t beat his wife. The Senator loves his wife.” “Lucky wife.”

“No, no, you’re very pale. White. Pinkish white. I mean, your skin. Your skin is like a pig. Because it’s pink. People assume that pigs are bad, but I like them. I love them.”

“Wasabi peas.” “I’m excited and scared.”

“Imagine John Cassavetes in The Fury as a hot chick.” “Which you know I often have!”

“Oh, it’s very nice.” “She was kind of a hooker.” “Mmm Hmm. How about while I build the magic bullets, you work on adapting your gun?”

“The Senator is filibustering.”

Popularity: unranked [?]

Wolverine, out on DVD recently, is a great example of one of the silliest clichés in escapist entertainment: someone reclaims his/her true humanity and unique individuality — by killing everyone in sight. What the hell is this about?

Speculative fiction is full of stories about people who’ve lost their identity – AMC just gave us a dreamlike remake of The Prisoner in which Number Six forgets who he really is, and Dollhouse returns Friday with more mind-erasing fun. But it’s weird to see the trope of “fighting for selfhood” merged with that action-movie staple, the entertaining killing spree.

Recently, I was re-watching chunks of X-Men: Origins: Wolverine and thinking about that movie’s insane body-count — both before and after Logan starts trying to regain his elusive humanity. In Wolverine, the mutant known as Logan is caught between his bestial nature and his dignity as an individual. For a hundred-odd years, he is a slaughter machine for the military, and then he joins a super-secret mutant taskforce. But in mid-atrocity, he suddenly starts questioning orders, and then he goes… rogue. (No, he doesn’t bleach part of his hair and start talking in a Southern-girl voice. He just wanders off the reservation.)

The point is, Wolverine is just as much of a killing machine after he starts asserting that he’s not just part of the machine, or not just an animal. He never makes the connection between the sacredness of his own personhood, and the sacredness of human life in general. I get that you have to fight for your freedom sometimes, but the movie makes a big point of showing Wolverine killing when he could just as easily disable his opponents — one of the movie’s few great fuck-yeah moments involves cold-blooded murder. (Sure, he’s killing scumbags. But he was just as much of a scumbag twenty minutes earlier.)

Likewise, Terminator Salvation (newly on DVD) gives us Sam Worthington’s tormented cyborg Marcus, who discovers that he’s basically a reanimated corpse with metal parts — and he makes the choice to be human, slaughtering several of John Connor’s men in the process. (During his heroic escape from the resistance compound.) But it’s okay, because Marcus’ emergent selfhood is more important than any sense of self all of those dead people might have possessed. (Actually, I might need to — shudder — rewatch this sequence. I know a bunch of the rebels die, but some of them die due to hydrobots that attack afterwards. Does Marcus actually kill anybody directly, or just cause their deaths by tearing apart their security?)

And then, of course, there’s District 9, in which Wikus also fights to regain his humanity — by putting on a battlesuit and shredding people with alien weapons. This film at least subverts this trope a bit, by having Wikus use alien weaponry that he’s only able to use because he’s losing his humanity — and the film doesn’t exactly reward Wikus for his mass murder.

This odd combination — the hero who devalues human life in the process of exalting his own — has been around for ages, but seems to be on the rise. RoboCop and the Universal Soldier movies give us cyborg heroes who struggle to re-humanize while killing lots of other humans. Michael Bay (surprise!) gave us The Island, in which a clone grown as an organ donor kills his “original” self, along with a number of other people, on the way to becoming a full-fledged person.

For almost as long as there have been action movies, there’s been the high body count: watching a Rambo movie in the 1980s, you don’t stop and think that everyone of these bodies flopping to the ground is another person who won’t come home to his/her family. It’s one of the conventions of action movies that we accept that this carnage isn’t really happening – even as the movie expects us to suspend our disbelief about a guy falling out of a helicopter on fire and surviving, it asks us to maintain full disbelief that mass murder is taking place in front of us.

On some level, too, we stop thinking that those people dying in front of us are really people – especially in a movie with tons of bad CG (like Wolverine). We can watch the corpses piling up because we know they’re not human.

But the action-movie body count and the “search for identity” plot are great separately — I love a good John Woo bloodbath — but they sit uneasily together. The more people we see your cyborg or mutant kill — and the more casually they’re killed — the less we can identify with our hero’s quest for selfhood. The whole thing starts to feel more like a first-person shooter, and the main character more like a video-game avatar, rather than an individual who Deserves Human Rights and all that stuff.

If life is so cheap, then who really cares about Logan’s quest for self? Not to pick on Wolverine, but these questions keep coming back as you watch the movie, as if they have a mutant healing factor.

How do you square the contrast, between the hero’s inalienable uniqueness and everyone else’s disposability? Maybe it’s because Our Hero is a Nietzschean ubermensh, whose will to power makes his individuality more precious than everyone else’s? What do you think?

Popularity: unranked [?]

You might think it’s odd that The Road and Ninja Assassin both came out just in time for Turkey Day. But those aren’t the only counter-intuitive movies that studios have put out for Thanksgiving — here’s a complete list.

Sometimes, you just need an escape from the relentlessness of the Thanksgiving celebrations, and Hollywood has been there for you — at least, some years. Certainly, in recent years, there have always been a couple of oddball films coming out for T-Day — but in previous years, it was hit and miss. Here’s the complete list of Thanksgiving counterprogramming of the past 25 years, including some stuff that’s not science fiction but is in some sense genre film.

All movie titles link to IMDB or Box Office Mojo pages containing release dates:

1984

Supergirl A movie guaranteed to make you give thanks that you’re never going to see it again — and a strong contender for the worst superhero film of all time. What I want to know is, what sort of guy sees his buddy blown thirty feet across the parking lot, and then decides to try and attack Supergirl using a switchblade?

1985

Rocky IV The good news is, it would inspire you to go get in shape after eating all that turkey and stuffing, thanks to one of the most classic training montages ever:

1986

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home The most fun of the original cast movies, this probably would have been a good one to escape to with your family. Although the famous “Shatner underwater” scene might have proved distressing.

Solarbabies I’m convinced there’s something very broken about this post-apocalyptic rollerblading film, but at least on the surface it looks very wholesome. Except for the part where the woman with the huge shoulderpads says, “Lock it down and disembowel it.”

1988

Cocoon: The Return I’m not sure anybody should have to deal with Steve Gutenberg on a full stomach.

1989

Back to the Future 2 Given that Marty McFly’s mom gets bizarre breast implants and becomes Biff Tannen’s bitch, this is definitely a good film for a family outing.

1990

Predator 2 The underrated cop drama/Predator attack movie starring Danny Glover… it’s really not as bad as you remember.

Robot Jox This, on the other hand… giant mecha gladiators, fighting it out with chainsaw crotches and other armaments… this is what family is all about.

1992

The Crying Game Terrorists, thugs, and the great transgender panic of 1992. I bet you took your mom to see this one.

1994

Junior Pregnant Arnold Schwarzenegger, watching sentimental movies and crying a lot, will help you understand your own family. Really.

1995

Casino It’s an underrated Scorsese classic, full of brutality and weirdness. Perfect Thanksgiving fare.

Nick of Time I may be the only person who saw this movie in the theater. Johnny Depp has 90 minutes to kill someone or other, or else Christopher Walken will kill someone or other. Mostly worth it to watch Depp and Walken overacting in a shopping mall. And for Walken saying, “I’ll make you a sauce for that black Irish cocksucker’s meat.” I’m happy this and the Scorsese film were the main choices for Thanksgiving 1995.

1997

Alien Resurrection The whole time you’re with your family, you can imagine you’re actually hanging out with lesbian android Winona. Or you can just daydream about what this movie could have been if they’d filmed Joss Whedon’s screenplay.

1998

Very Bad Things A sex worker gets killed at a bachelor party — and then things turn ugly. Probably just like your family gatherings. It does star Jon “Iron Man” Favreau, and it’s directed by Peter “Hancock” Berg.

1999

End of Days Satan and Thanksgiving — and Arnie! They fit together perfectly! Satan is looking for his Bride… so it’s about family and relationships and stuff.

2000

Unbreakable A horrific act of mass murder brings to light a guy who can find the rapists and creeps in our midst. It’s light family entertainment — but it does deal with some real questions about the power of story. So yeah, probably a good one to get out of the house for.

Quills This, on the other hand — the Marquis De Sade! In full effect! I’m betting many of you dragged your entire family to see this.

2001

Black Knight Martin Lawrence gets zapped back to the Middle Ages, and presumably, goes medieval on their asses. Enough to make your entire family commit mass suicide, Heavens Gate-style.

The Devil’s Backbone An early Guillermo Del Toro classic, and more proof that horror owns Thanksgiving. Your family doesn’t deserve this movie.

2002

Solaris You could watch Steven Soderbergh’s trippy-ass remake of Tarkovsky’s classic while you’re already wigged out on tryptophan. Why not?

Wes Craven Presents: They Or you could have seen this gem — they’re coming for you!

2003

Timeline “Your father is in the 14th. century.” Hey, maybe he can hang out with Martin Lawrence there!

2006

The Fountain And speaking of trippy movies when you’re already stoned on tryptophan… at least your entire family will each have different opinions about what happened in this film.

Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny Jack Black! Rocking out! It’s bound to make more sense than The Fountain.

2007

Hitman A video game adaptation about a guy who kills people and thwarts some vague conspiracy thing. Probably the purest example of counterprogramming ever.

The Mist Given the shocking, ultra-secret ending, this is an… interesting choice for a family occasion. If you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t watch this clip:

2008

Transporter 3 It’s a threequel starring Jason Statham. How can it be bad?

Twilight You probably have at least one family member who’s as creepy as Edward. So it’s good to get some perspective.

2009

The Road And then we’re up to this year’s crop… this whole movie is as depressing as The Mist’s ending. But at least it does have a genuinely pro-family message.

Ninja Assassin This is the film we’ll probably actually be watching on T-day. Ninjas! Wachowskis! James McTeigue! Out-and-out mayhem!

Additional reporting by Mary Ratliff.

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